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Reader: I am a manager at a medium-size company. One of my co-workers, “Dale,” describes himself as a high-functioning autistic man who lacks executive functioning skills. As he explains it, he has a neurocognitive issue with planning, forethought and juggling multiple tasks. He struggles with certain types of long-term projects that require intricate planning, multiple long deadlines and complex organization.

Dale is a hard worker and good at his job; he is vested and gets regular raises. However, he aspires to be promoted to the senior version of his role, which unfortunately requires many of the skills he has been trying unsuccessfully to master. It frustrates him to be passed up for this promotion multiple times while seeing multiple colleagues — many of whom started working here after him — being promoted.

Privately, it seems to me that Dale is incapable of mastering the needed skills, despite years of mentoring from his supervisors, including me. Publicly, I have been encouraging him and working to help him improve.

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Dale is hypersensitive to incidents when he suspects he is being mistreated because of being on the spectrum. In some cases, workplace mediators have gotten involved to help sort out misunderstandings between him and supervisors. He has started to indicate that he feels he is being unfairly passed up for promotion because of his autism and may seek some kind of legal recourse.

Is it illegal discrimination to deny him a promotion? Part of me feels the requirements for the promotion should be altered to accommodate him. But I can see the opposite argument too: If a position requires skills that a candidate doesn’t have, shouldn’t that candidate be excluded?

Work Advice: Autism acceptance at work starts in the mental space

Karla: It’s fantastic that you’re mentoring and encouraging Dale to develop the skills he needs to move up. You may have tried everything already, but the Job Accommodation Network (askjan.org) provides a list of helpful tools and processes designed to support workers for whom executive function skills don’t come naturally, including automated timers, checklists and color-coded calendars.

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But not just anyone can teach those skills, especially if they haven’t personally had to consciously build those skills from the ground up. A well-meaning duck, hardwired with aquatic mobility skills, may not have the perspective to coach a roadrunner in competitive swimming.

If you’ve taken Dale as far as you can on your own, it may be time to bring in an outside expert — just as you might bring in external media and executive presence coaches to groom employees for specialized functions.

Anthony Pacilio, vice president of neurodiverse solutions at technology and workforce consulting firm CAI, notes that nonprofit organizations such as the Autism Society might be able to connect Dale with the kind of one-on-one coaching that will click with him.

But what if, despite expert support and his own best efforts, Dale still isn’t able to perform the tasks his desired position demands?

Work Advice: He has an autism diagnosis. Is it too late to keep his job?

Under the Americans With Disabilities Act, reasonable accommodations can’t impose an “undue hardship” on the employer, and ultimately the employee has to be able to perform the essential functions of the job. “It’s not discrimination when an interested candidate simply isn’t qualified for the role,” according to Tammy Harper, chief human resources officer at CAI.

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It’s not clear from your letter whether anyone has explained clearly to Dale that the position he seeks requires X, where X represents skills he has admitted he’s not strong at. “Throughout the process, being empathetic and kind is critical, but being honest is equally important,” says Harper. And when the time and effort we put into mastering a skill significantly outpaces the progress we’re making, “we should keep it in perspective to know when our effort might be best spent elsewhere,” she says.

Maybe the roadrunner just doesn’t have a career in competitive swimming. This is where it would be helpful for everyone to ask different questions.

Perhaps someone needs to ask Dale what specifically he wants from a promotion. Recognition? Money? A more impressive title? A sense that he’s doing more than treading water? The authority to propose new ideas? Maybe he’s so set on a direct promotion that he’s not seeing parallel opportunities that would be a better fit.

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And management could consider other ways for Dale to advance besides a linear path from Current Job to Current Job 2.0. Mayra Lebron-Lopez, vice president of human capital management operations at CAI, recommends that an employer “recognize the employee’s other strengths and use them elsewhere in the organization. All our career trajectories, whether we are neurodivergent or neurotypical, are never one-size-fits-all.”

The employer is not under any obligation to invent needs for the employee to fill. But it’s a shame when a high-performing employee is held back or feels undervalued because he doesn’t conform to any of the employer’s precut promotion templates. It might be possible to brainstorm more creative, customized opportunities for Dale to move up on the org chart without creating a hardship for the company or himself.

I realize this is a lot of effort to keep one employee satisfied. But you seem to value Dale’s contributions and want him to have the same opportunities to grow as anyone. And there’s a practical reason for putting in a good-faith effort: If he decides to take legal action, it will go better for the company if you can show you went the extra mile to support his goals.

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